Hello my beloved friend. I am happy to see you here. I hope this article will give you comfort, warmth and thoughts that you can rely on when the dark moments of life seduces you.
Right now, on this moment, November Friday 17th 2023 I am sitting at my home and thinking about death. Yes, and I am so afraid I start cry every now and then. Why?
The reason for my fear is natural. I am going to be operated on Monday. My heart is sick, again, and I have to face the operation for third time in my life. First heart catheter ablation was done about ten years ago, second right after it. And now, after 8 years of healthy life I got there again – heart hospital. First two operations were done when I was awake (yes, eyes open when the heart was burned with laser). This time they go inside the heart when I sleep, through my throat pipe. How scary is this? My mind thinks this is scary. MY heart knows and trusts all is well.
How to control the fear then?
You cannot control your mind. Nobody can control it 100 %. You have to accept this illusion of Maya and mind – how it plays with our emotions and mind.
My fear is something I can feel in my body. Yes, my stomach is feeling tight, my legs are slow and swollen. MY breathing goes easily much thin and artificial. So I know I can control my body. Even I can’t control the fact my heart is sick again. Or I don’t even know is it much sick or not – I will know better next week after operation.
When the mind is absolute mess it is better to do something. No sleep will help me, no talking will help. So I would like to write a list of things/to-do that help me with fear.
- Start writing. Yep, I am doing it right now. You can write your feelings in diary or if you like sharing, why not on Instagram or Facebook etc. Just keep yourself safe from negative people and mindsets. You can write detailed list what is causing the fear and why? How you feel? Usually when you write down things and clarify your thoughts, it will reduce the pain inside
- Sing or play. Or if not possible, listen to your favourite uplifting music. Don’t go in sorrow. Go for neutral but still favourite music. I like almost any music, but when I am sad or afraid, classical music like Yann Tiersen, Nils Frahm or Hania Rani makes beautiful impact on my mood
- You can be sad. You can cry. Actually it relieves much pain from your body. You feel relieved and less stressed out.
- How about painting/drawing? It is old method for kids with anxiety/fears and traumas, but you can definitely go for it too – even you think yourself not skilled in this kind of activity. Take a paper/diary and watercolors or whatever you have and start painting just something, no need to do something recognizable or “beautiful”. Just go for it. TIP: You can paint with coffee/berries/coal/turmeric water etc if you have no tools at home.
5. Write a letter to yourself. Imagine what you would like to hear on this moment and write yourself a supporting letter. It can start like this: Hi dear x. I know you are much afraid and I understand you. I want to tell you….
6. GO OUT FOR NATURE. This is the best method and cure for everything. If you know a place where you can see animals (birds, squirrels, farm animals etc) it could be a great benefit. Animals live in this moment so they are the best teachers for fear, compassion and joy. If you just walk outside and see every detail of the trees, sky, stars, ground – you can feel your heart getting a little bit lighter. If you can, take your shoes off and ground yourself with bare feet. Enjoy!
How you feel after strolling in forests?
7. Meditate. This is a great tool and way of living with people having anxiety, stress, traumas and fears. I do it every day, almost some days I meditate every moment eyes open when I go anywhere or work. If you need help with meditation, please go for meditation applications and podcasts. I have mine too, so far it is only in Finnish (When I write this) but in future also in English. Please check Art Of Silence on Spotify. Hope it helps!
8. Hug someone. Hugging has great health benefits too. It reduces stress and anxiety too. If people would hug more, there would be no lonely kids, less bodily pain (yes, this is scientifically proved) and we would have happier relationships.
9. Pamper yourself. Seems like no-brainer but many times we forget this – especially if we are parents or taking care of others. Take a long hot shower, eat your favourite food (if you have appetite), take massage or any other bodily treatment and relax. Yoga asanas is very good medicine or any tension in body. Just a few movements and you feel better.
10. Take a big picture. Think about it. After 1 year, does this thing you are afraid of have a place in your life? Or does it exist after 3 years? Or 5 years? If you can clearly think it has no power in your life after long time, you can think it will be over soon. The fear and the event. You will gain more strength after imagining yourself as a winner of this cause. Everything is going to be ok. You are being loved, supported and taken care of.
How you feel now? Hope you feel more empowered, relaxed and trustful for future and yourself.
Any comments?
Send me feedback nispruhshambhavi@gmail.com
Or comment below 🙏🏻
With love, Maa Shambhavi
