My first experience from India – and why I always return?

Have you heard about this Western woman who always told everyone I am not going to ever travel to India? Yep, me too and yep, it was me (too). So what made my mind change in the first place and why I keep returning to India? What was causing this hesitation and what (or who) made my head change?

First of all my hesitation was based on what I had heard and read from news and people. How limitating is that? Yes I was told at school that India has poor sanitation, poor people and much noise, people and crowds. Food is good but if you are sensitive you will get food poisoning for sure. Cows are walking around in the streets and kids are begging money in every corner. Sun is hot all time and your clothes and skin will smell like turmeric one month after trip. Then there was always things going on at North India and Sri Lanka – don’t go there at least. And how about women’s rights and sexual harassment everywhere? You will be robbed, raped and full of parasites when you get back home if you ever get back anyway. Other option was that you will become either a monk in a cave or a hippie with rastas and smoke joints somewhere in Goa with other Western hippies. Who is going in that kind of trip free willingly?

It was me with my cunning mind

When my guru invited me to India first time I was thinking no way, I will rather learn here in Finland. It is enough for me and for my yoga. After 1,5 years of doing kriya yoga and after participating my second retreat in Finland with him he asked again. And suddenly everything seemed so clear. Of course I will come. I made a plan with my friend who had been in India before and with much hesitation and worrying and stress the initial plan was ready. I had dreamed secretly of seeing Diwali in India so there we went!

It was not easy to arrange this kind of trip for me. So I thought. Me being single mom arranging two weeks period without my son was horrible idea. How can he survive, how can I survive? Where will the cat go? What about my work plan. I was hands shakin suggesting my boss that actually I would like to apply two weeks holiday in the middle of the year – not in holiday season. Then asking the father of the boy that in fact I would need to be apart from our son. Usually it was me with him most of the time. And then someone to be with cat. Oh yes and the money, where to get money for flights and accommodation? What about all health issues like malaria, hepatitis or influenza? Do I need to be prepared? Travel insurance, is it covering everything I need?

But as in life, if you truly want something, you will get it. I felt easy after first hesitation because the decision was made in my heart that I want to go. I wanted to meet all the people and gurus family, I wanted to see Diwali lights and taste all amazing foods I had seen.

Also one month before the trip guru gave me one fasting program so my body was prepared. I ate only fresh foods 6 weeks before the trip. And my weight went 7 kg down.

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What has changed in me?

1. I understood that my fears and prejudices are leading my life
   – Why I have so much negativity about the place where I have not visited myself? That is called fear and prejudices. I realized and changed my behavior. If I have fear, I will go to see what is causing this
   – You have to have own wisdom, own experience instead of reading from media before judging and saying how it is
2. In the minute I sat on the plane I felt peace and happy. This was the right choice, I win!
3. I was afraid of many things which after experiencing became very dear to me like traffic behavior (interesting..)
4. I felt much peace and joy in the first minute I walked out from the aircraft to Mumbai airport. Even taxi drive from airport to ashram was a pleasure. I fell asleep there.
5. India is crazy I know but it makes everything feel absurd and funny too. I laugh a lot and mostly it comes from the shining people.
6. I have learned a lot of life, about our East and West mindset and dilemma between “the rich West and the poor East”. Who am I to tell what is right way to live, consume or believe?
7. I have learned so many things about life, nature, people, health and love. More deep understanding. That is gained only experiencing it yourself. I can happily brush toilets and cut vegetables during my holidays if the environment itself is loving and accepting and everyone are as one big family. We all are nothing yet we are everything.

Why I always go back?

1. India is crazy but loving. You never know what happens next
2. People are very kind and shiny. It is the sun, the spiritual atmosphere and the cow milk (sounds crazy but I will explain later).
3. My mental home is there. Maybe I was Indian woman or man in some of my previous lives. But it feels and felt home from the first day I was there. Even when I feel uncomfortable I can be free
4. Every time I learn so much about myself and I feel welcomed
5. I learn humbleness, gratitude what I have in life, of course yoga, spirituality, love, health, Ayurveda, devoted work and sadhana in true surroundings.
6. I go back because I feel so inside my heart. 💜 I miss my people and I miss the love and light. We all have purpose here and maybe mine is somehow connected to this path of yoga and India.
7. My guru and the family is welcoming us every time. How can I resist when I am invited to come full heartedly?
8. I go because I need to grow. If I think about my life I have been maybe the most selfish person I know and I don’t need that load. It is nice and refreshing to sometimes be nobody, live like nobody and act like you are nothing. It keeps calm 🙏🏻
9. I can fight against my triggers and unbalanced issues better in safe surroundings with spiritual master. I think this is the most important and deep meaning of the travelling to India for me: if you are devoted to someone, you have to stay with him/her to clean yourself from karma and unhealthy habits and to find your path. It is also surrendering: here I am now, ready for whatever it is and I accept everything as it is. Guru loves everyone. Even you. Even if you do crimes or wrong. And that is true power ❤️

Next retreat will be November 2021-January 2022 in India

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